Your cart is currently empty!
Authentic Rest
In the thick of motherhood, one of the most important things to know is that this too shall pass. I see you mama! You are juggling the complete chaos of motherhood, while spirituality leading your children…between everything else on your plate!
Acknowledging the sheer exhaustion of raising children often feels taboo. It seems like we’re expected to be constantly energetic, grateful, joyful and, if we’re not, we’re certainly not supposed to talk about it. As a mother, I’m weary of many things, including the pressure from others dictating how I should or shouldn’t feel. Do you feel the same way?
It’s time to embrace the reality of being tired. Motherhood is filled with joy and unparalleled experiences, but it’s also undeniably exhausting. The idea of finding true rest often gets lumped into the broad concept of “Self-Care,” which the world suggests is the answer.
A friend once told me, “Your life makes me tired.” Honestly, my own life exhausts me too. When my kids were toddlers, I was perpetually worn out. From recovering my body post-pregnancy, to sleepless nights with babies who wouldn’t settle, I was drained. Keeping up with toddlers, cooking meals no one seemed to want, and navigating preschool choices—tiring. Balancing work from home, shuttling kids to school, playdates, and sports—tiring. Homeschooling during COVID—tiring. And now, managing work, juggling multiple school and sports schedules, assisting with complex homework that quite frankly I am certain I never learned, and constant worrying—just so, so tired.
Parenting today involves a lot of worry: the chaotic culture, media influences, social media, friend drama, and values that often clash with my own. It’s a lot to handle, and yes, mama is tired.
When we hear phrases like “Fill your cup” and “Self-care is not selfish,” they can sometimes feel more frustrating than encouraging. I barely have time to get through a load of laundry, let alone schedule a pedicure—though, yes, that would be lovely. If you can find time for those things, that’s great, and you should absolutely take it. But for many of us, those moments of self-care feel out of reach.
I’m speaking to the moms who, like me, struggle to find authentic rest and feel disheartened by these well-meaning but often unrealistic suggestions. I hear these statements and can’t help but wonder about the moms who manage to “fill their cup.” Right now, I’m focused on filling everyone else’s cups and just trying to get through the day.
It begs the question, are these instructions to mom really helping?
Over time, and many mistakes of going in the wrong direction, I’ve finally figured out that the direction to go to when there’s a question that begs to be answered is right to the Bible.
You might be thinking, what does the Bible say about tired moms?
Well, it might not say much specifically about tired moms, but the Bible does talk about types of rest and renewal, and it does talk about women who are just doing too much!
There’s multiple types of rest that we can pursue…
1. Physical Rest
God Created us according to His perfect design. Does God make mistakes, no. Did God create us to physically need sleep, yes! A nap might be the best way to use an hour of your time, rather than a tidy kitchen. Take the nap! A well-rested mom is a happier mom. And a more effective mom when it comes to pouring love, light and life into our children which is our main mission. God gave us these kiddos and He trusts us to care for them and lead them to Him.
How can we be thinking about discipling our kids if we are too tired? How can we spiritually feed our souls, if we are falling asleep with the Bible in our hands? Physical rest is so important.
Mama, Jesus Napped. The only perfect person to ever walk the Earth retreated to rest and nap, and prioritized eating food too! See Mark 6:31. Now maybe you are not in the season of life to get in a nap, I’m with you, I’m not either so I need to get myself to bed on time. If physical rest was important to Jesus, it’s important to you.
2. Mental and Spiritual Rest.
Second type of Rest that we need to get truthful about, is mental and spiritual rest. In mothering, let’s think of this as Rest from the Worry. I don’t care what stage of motherhood you are at, even if your kids are adults, you are worried. And I don’t think our human brains or human hearts can STOP worrying, but we can take a pause and a mental break from it to receive some renewal of our minds.
Scripture tells us that God knows our name, He knows the number of hairs on our head. He knew us before we were born. We have covering from him, and our kids have covering from Him. He loves those kiddos more than you do! He works all things together for good for those who love him and are called according to his purpose. Scripture tells us to cast all our cares on him, to bring our heavy burdens to Him and trade those burdens for his easy yoke.
Jesus doesn’t promise naps, that’s on us. He does promise that HE will be our rest.
I believe that the reason that self-care is not really helping because it’s just a temporary reprieve. It’s not authentic. In the above passage, Jesus is talking about religious rituals that are exhausting and provide no peace. Isn’t that just the same as these rituals that the world would have us to do fill our cup? These small escapes from our reality do not change or alter our reality, they just pause it. If I take a spa day, the work is still there when I return, and the stress and worry come rushing right back. It’s not real rest. Jesus is telling us here that when we follow Him and His ways, that His rest is renewal for our souls.
Real rest is rest in Jesus. He cares for our cares. Real rest does more than just pause us, or engage in some kind of ritual, it renews and refreshes us deep in our soul. Trust me I’m not coming down on spa days, girl if you can get a massage, get one. But I am saying, and the Bible backs me up, that true rest is only found in Jesus. While I’m getting a massage, does my brain really shut off from the worry if my teenager is experiencing bullying, or peer pressure, nope.
We need Rest from our Worry.
Nothing is going to fill that cup like the one who created us. Do we spend time with Him? In His Word and in prayer? Do we thirst for the water that only He can provide? Do we drink from that cup? Do we worship Him and attend church faithfully to be with other believers and learn more about God? Are we obedient?
There is nothing wrong with a spa day or a vacation. But we cannot let ourselves get trapped in the thought that these types of rest will substitute walking with God daily. Give yourself some relief from the pressure of spending time with God… It doesn’t have to look pretty, it doesn’t have to be a long time in the Word, but it does have to be consistent and daily. Like your teenager showering, most effective when done daily! Like eating, it’s not always a gourmet meal, but a little bite of something daily is pretty necessary!
And the reason for this daily connection with God is to give us the Rest from the Worry. Remember, He knows every hair on our kids’ heads. They have covering. Jesus reminds us in Matthew Chapter 6:25-34 that we have no need to worry about tomorrow because God will provide for us. He goes on to say that we should “seek first the kingdom of God” Our obligation is to fix our eyes on Jesus TODAY and let Him control tomorrow. There is no sense in worrying mama, if you are mentally and spiritually resting in the Lord and trusting Him. You don’t need to “figure it out” because He will. And He’ll do it better than you! He certainly does it better than me.
3. Rest from doing all the things.
The phrase “Your life makes me tired” was a kick in the pants. Am I too busy? Am I distracted? It reminds me of the story of Mary and Martha in Luke Chapter 10. Jesus and His disciples are on their way to Martha’s home, and she is working to have everything prepared. Mary, her sister, sat at the feet of Jesus to listen to His teaching while Martha continued to prepare food and be hospitable. Martha is pretty annoyed. She asks Jesus to admonish Mary, Mary is just sitting around while Martha is doing all the work! Moms, wouldn’t we be the Marthas? It’s pretty easy to see Martha’s side; she is us; we relate to her. We are busy because we have to be! Someone has to prepare all the things! Doesn’t everyone want to eat?
But then again, Sometimes I have family and friends over and I wonder if I even sat at all? Did I enjoy their company? Shouldn’t I have? I’ll never get that time back.
Jesus sides with Mary; He says that she has chosen the good portion! He tells Martha that she is too anxious and troubled. He gently reminds her of what truly matters. I love though, that He doesn’t rebuke her. He gently guides Her to see His point, while appreciating her hospitality. Jesus guides, He doesn’t punish!
The weight of the responsibilities that we have as moms can literally crush us. But where can we find renewal? Hope? Rest? Where can we learn? The world tells us that the THINGS need to be done. But the Word tells us to be a Mary.
We must stop thinking that we are responsible for the success of everything and everyone, stop trying to control every outcome, and instead place our cares and anxieties at the feet of the One who can carry them for us.
Jesus teaches the disciples about the vine and the branches. In order to bear fruit, the branches must stay connected to the vine to receive sustenance. Apart from Jesus (the vine) we (the branches) cannot be fruitful. Of course we must steward our resources, intentionally raise our kiddos, and work hard, but we must trust Him fully for what we cannot control. We stay near to Him to find contentment, joy, clarity, strength, rest, courage, and provision. In a culture that values busyness and doing it all, that honors the “supermom,” we dare to be different and say that we cannot do it all. We need our Savior.
And in this place and posture is where we truly see the fruit. The freedom from distraction and busyness that allows us to learn from Jesus, to bring our children to Christ, to disciple our kids and parent intentionally. Are our kids seeing us sit at the feet of Jesus? In this posture, we mother in the best way we can.
If you thought I had an answer to the age-old question of “how to rest as a busy mom,” I don’t. I don’t know how you can practically remove distraction and prioritize only the right things. It’s probably different for every mom. But I do know that nothing should get in between you and Jesus. How can a busy mom find rest for herself? It’s not at the spa, it’s not in the kitchen preparing meals, it’s not during midnight scrolling and rolling, it’s not filling our cup at mom’s night out. It’s drinking from the living water that will fill us up to never thirst again. It’s finding rest rooted in the provision of our Savior, the provision that we cannot earn, that we do not deserve, and that can never be taken from us. It’s finding rest in drawing near to Jesus and relying on the One who saved our soul. Cast your cares on Him, because He cares for you.
Mama, If you’d like to deep dive into achieving authentic rest as a busy mama, check out The Rest Experiment for Mom.